I went on Year Course at 18, alongside many others who had also grown up in youth movements. The more I learned, the more I critiqued Israel’s settler colonial practices, the greater the hostile response I received from my peers. I used to leave the programme to join protests in occupied Palestine. I had a Palestinian flag I would take with me. One time, a member of the group stole this flag and burnt it. They called me a terrorist and an extremist. No one said anything – his position was seen as the acceptable one. I used to receive death threats for critiquing Israel, or for wearing a “Free Palestine” t-shirt. The leadership told me it was probably my fault for being too extreme: it was my fault for pushing people to this position. Instead of addressing these repeated incidents of violence and racism, they were accepted and normalised.

Fast forward a decade to the protests against the DSEI Arms Fair in 2019, where a group of Jewish Zionists had gathered to push back against this protest, shouting obscenities at the Palestinian protestors and their supporters. How have members of our community reached a place where they feel the need to stand up for and defend an arms fair? For me, this cannot be what Judaism is about.

The Jewish tradition of fighting injustice drives me. It has driven me to write this testimony, because I believe that we can do better and that our ancestors need us to do better. I am proud to be an anti-Zionist Jew and I am excited to work with likeminded people to address racism in the Jewish community.

I end this statement with an apology that I see as a necessary first step. To any Palestinians, Lebanese people, and others directly affected by Zionist violence reading this: I am sorry for my part within such a harmful institution. I sincerely intend to spend the remainder of my life addressing this and acting in solidarity with efforts to secure Palestinian freedom. To anyone for whom I was a youth leader: I am sorry I was a part of the indoctrination to which you were subjected. I hope you have felt empowered to criticise and challenge it, but if not – it is not too late.